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Saturday, November 28, 2009

I will always remember

Melancholy. That's my mood today. I woke up this morning and softly thought, today's the day. The day I've been dreading, such a sad anniversary. It's now been a full year since we had to say goodbye to our sweet Terra. It was last November 28th, a Friday, when we learned that Terra had inoperable, untreatable, advanced cancer -- something she hid completely and so well -- and we had to do the right thing for her. Within hours she had deteriorated rapidly. It was heartbreaking. It was so hard.

Not long ago I read somewhere online, possibly on somebody's blog, that jewish people believe it takes a full year to grieve, that you must pass through all the seasons while mourning. I have no idea if this is really a jewish belief, but it makes sense to me. Grieving is a slow, painful process that everyone experiences differently. You never really get over the loss, but with time, with the changing of the seasons, you do eventually make peace and learn to function in this new world, the one where somebody special is missing. And now I've had a full year and yes, I am at peace. I still miss her though. Of course.

The above photograph is quite possibly the first one I ever captured of Terra, not long after she came into our home. What an adorable pup she was! I so wish she was still here, how she would have had such fun playing with Tippi. They would have been best friends, I know. But our pets live forever only in our hearts; their time with us physically is limited. You accept that reality the moment you let a furry one into your life, your heart -- but you cannot dwell on it. They become family members and you make their lives as wonderful as you possibly can. But they in turn make your life much more wonderful. I think that no matter how much you love them, I suspect they love you more.


Leslie Jane Moran said...

Oh Lennie. My heart is with you on this day. I am in Ottawa and I went by my parent's grave site just yesterday. While the emotions are not as raw, there is a profound sense of loss whether it be a human or furry family member. There is no "Evelyn Wood" speed grieving course, there is only the time it takes.
Sending you warm hugs from Ottawa and thinking of you, Al, and Rob.

Susan Williamson said...

I've been thinking about how to respond to your post about grieving and the loss of Terra. It's such a deep topic and you're so brave to write about it. Thank you for sharing this picture of her as a puppy. Terra was a beautiful soul young or old, here or not and I'm sending you loving hugs.

Sue.D. said...

Hi Lennie & Al
l am surfing on your site and came across the one year of Terra gone. l remember like it was yesterday. My heart goes out to you and Al as l know the hurt is deep. They are so part of the family and we must never stop Loving them in life as in death.....l believe Terra is your doggie angel as you shall always feel safe....Love Your Pet's
Love Sue.D.

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