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Thursday, December 4, 2008

Despair and distraction, grief and gratitude

I can’t lie; I’m a mess. We came home from the pet hospital Friday evening last week and I’ve not ventured outside since. I don’t want to. This is very rough and I know I have to allow myself to grieve, in my own way and on my own time. I’m just not ready to put on a brave face and rejoin the world, not yet. We asked that Terra be cremated and the ashes returned to us, so until she comes home, finally and forever, I don’t think I will start to feel any closure. I can distract myself with television and the internet, but each day is a bad day. I weighed myself last night and I have lost weight. The grief diet, I guess. Every day though, I feel more and more gratitude for having had the privilege of having Terra in my life and our family; she was so special. And I’m very thankful she went through no prolonged suffering. She had such a happy life. I also want to say thank you to all those who have expressed their sorrow to us and have offered us kindness and comfort in the past several days.

2 comments:

Carmi said...

I don't think we ever get over the loss...we just make it a part of our new life post best friend.
I understand completely.
Lost our best friend in July to cancer too.

Susan Williamson said...

Oh Lenore, I'm so sad to hear about Terra. You have to give yourself time to grieve over her passing. Forget putting on a brave face. Grieving over Terra is the right thing to do. It means that she was deeply loved and will be sadly missed. My thoughts are with you.

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